Of Sex Tapes and Scandals

Boy, if that title doesn't jar you, I dunno what will.

Take it easy. I don't have a sex tape. Why would I subject the world to such cruel and unusual punishment? It's bad enough I see myself in the mirror everyday... why make the world suffer along with me?

Plus, it's not really A tape. [insert evil, demented laugh here]

Anyway, last week has been pretty uneventful. Nothing jarring or earth-shattering. No major upheavals. I must've hit an emotional plateau, where everything pretty much levelled off. Or maybe it's the almost-a-year-together-itch. I dunno.

So, for those in the know... the very few of you... Shane and I have sorta made up. Not that we ever broke up or anything. But our situation, what with him living in the US and me here in this godforsaken 3rd world country, it's just next to impossible to maintain a normal, healthy relationship.

Add to the fact that I'm smitten with someone else that's NOT Shane, then you've got one very fucked up emotional sideshow. One that I'm right smack in the middle of.

Shit, I'm too old for this. I should be married with 3 kids, living in a house with a white picket fence, fixing meals for my husband and carpooling the soccer team. But, instead, I'm a single mother with a fiance who lives a bajillion miles away and a boyfriend who is much too young for me. Ay dios mio!

Work. I should just concentrate on work. Work is less complicated. Work has no exes that hang around like rabid dogs waiting for the next piece of rotting meat you throw their way. Work has no lies, no deceptions, no bullshit. You go to work, you get paid. You hate your boss, you can mass email his picture where he's drunk and peed in his pants.

Wow. I guess life really hasn't levelled off like I thought it did.

Shall We?

I was planning on doing a year end thingy just to wrap things up nice and tight but daaaaaamn, that's a lot of work... so, I'mma gonna work on it some more and then post it when it's all done.

I'll be posting the entirety of the year end thingy at the other blog and maybe just post a summary here. Since this blog doesn't have a friends only feature and I have readers here that aren't necessarily friends. I don't want everyone and their brother to be privvy to certain matters.

Speaking of non-friends, the new site meter is wondrous. It gives me a weekly report on how many visits I get a day AND it also gives me the ip address of the person visiting. How cool is that? And seeing as Richard is THE techie of all techies, maybe I can finally solve the Mystery of The Unfriendly Visitor. Well actually, it's already solved. Richard, notwithstanding. I just like rambling on and on about stuff that most people would find boring.

There's this lady, two stations away from me and she's talking to someone over the net. She's all giggly and mushy and flirty, it's so cute. It gives me hope... this long distance love affairs that seem to be working... maybe one day... maybe...

Pipe dreams. Oh well.

I've quit work. Mostly because I'm starting over at another company. Everything's still hush hush so... hush.

My cousin Erica told me that she writes the way she speaks. I guess I do too. Rambling and seemingly without coherence. But for the few people who REALLY listen to me, inside every rant is a valuable, albeit small nugget of vulnerability that is just too darn scared to come out of hiding. Whoosh. I amuse myself way too easily.

So, yeah. I need to go. I've got places to burn and people to turn. Blargh.

Off With Their Heads!

Yesterday, I hung out with my cousin Tina. All we did was gab to our hearts' content and ate to our tummies'. Pigging out is an understatement. It was fun with a capital F. Well... it would've been more fun if my other cousins were there but they all have jobs and lives and crap and.... I miss them.

Anyway, it was refreshing to just loll around the house looking grotty and not care about what other people might think... or upchuck.

Gah, just between you and me and a coupla other readers... I miss not being so effing girly. The long hair, the plucked brows, the prim and proper crap... ARGH! I'd give my soul if I could just go back to being me. I hate growing up. I miss playing ball with my cousins. I miss wrestling with my brother. I miss playing tag football with my guy friends. Ok, it was mostly tag. On some occassions though, we did have a ball with us but it was mostly to hit people on the head with. It was more fun that way.

I digress. I always do. Geez. See this is the reason why I know Dane and I are FATED to be together. We both LOVE to digress. Ahaha! Shit, I crack myself up all the time.

Anyway, yeah... so.... fuck... my train of thought just got thoroughly and properly derailed. Damnit.

Plus I gotta go. Meeting up with a couple of friends from highschool today. I'm gonna bring a ball with me. Just in case the need to hit someone upside the head ever comes up. Hehe.

They Killed ZsaZsa!

Ok... I finally saw ZsaZsa Zaturnnah. Can't say I hated it. Can't say I loved it either. It's... so... bleh.

I just wish they stayed as true to the comic book as much as they could. Damnit. I really don't understand why they had to add extra characters and stupid CGI shit when they could've just used the money to TEACH THE ACTORS HOW TO ACT.

Oh well. Least I have the comic book.

And other than having the same first name as the main character... the lead actress was about as true to the character as Christian Bale was to Batman. Bad analogy. Wala akong maisip eh.

I wish they went with Eula, John Lapuz, Agot Isidro and Philip Lazaro.

Hay.

Plus, I think I scarred my boyfriend for life. Hehehe. I shouldn't have dragged him to watch the damn movie in the first place.

Ok, more later. Gotta go home now. The boy has work. Toodles.

Dios Mio.

Ok, this has gone on long enough. It's not even funny anymore. Surely not entertaining. Aside from the fact that it's petty, it almost constitutes bickering over a man and really... that's so beneath me.

You go on with your delusions of grandeur. I really don't care anymore. After this post, I'm done with you. I have more important matters to focus on. Like my kid, my work and my friends.

I don't know what you wish to accomplish with your little jab at my weight. Please. Pfft. Be a little more original. Calling me fat by using a medical term? I graduated with a degree in Public Health. Moron. Could you be a little more obvious? Last I checked, only first graders do this shit. And planting that seed of doubt about his fidelity? Holy Christ woman... you're only proving to me that you do indeed have the IQ of a tse-tse fly.

How many times must I repeat that I am not the least bit concerned whether or not I am the only woman in his life? Because when you look at it, I'm not the one who's being unfaithful. And I'm not blindly stupid either. I know where I stand and I'm content where I am.

Criminy... like YOU were the ONLY one in his life too? Puh-lease. Where do you think I get the information about you from? Who do you think tells me stuff about you? Bimbo. If he hadn't told me about you, I wouldn't even know you existed. Susmio.

Your little game is tiring me. And I'm a little sorry that I allowed myself to get swept into this holy clusterfuck of idiotic back and forths. The only thing I got out of this is an increase in readership in this here little blog AND a couple of laughs at your expense.

Michelle, go live your life and stop butting into mine. And for crying out loud, don't give Leo away like you own him. You don't. He belongs where he wants to belong. No one has ever been able to dictate to him. I've no plans on starting. I pick my battles. I know where I stand. He and I are great friends. More than anything, we are really great friends. He knows that, I know that.

Shit, we even talk about what we're gonna do after we break up. And we laugh about it. I already know he's not THE ONE. And I'm ok with that. The important thing to me, at least, is that we're getting what we need and want from each other and no one is being made a fool of because everything is transparent.

Leo's a great guy. Someday, he'll make a great boyfriend and possibly a great husband. He already knows how to take care of a family. He knows he wants to be ready before he starts a family. And one day... maybe in the VERY distant future, he'll mature enough to buckle down and start having that family. When that day comes, I'll STILL be his friend.

Thank you for directing a lot of traffic over to this blog. Other than Richard and Church, who I both love dearly, nobody really reads this blog. Mostly because nobody knows about it.

Besides, the REALLY juicy stuff is in the other blog. :)

Now shoo fly don't bother me.