Glee!

This makes all the snide comments about how I'm way too old to be playing with toys, WORTH IT!

So go follow already.

Resolutions remembered.

Just to, you know... let everyone know I haven't forgotten my New Year's resolution of posting more pictures of myself... not that there's any need to scare anymore children into behaving with my ugly mug.... but yeah.

Sweets for my sweet, sugar for mah honey...

If everyday could be like today, I'mma die a happy, sugary person. Cheap but REALLY good cupcakes, my favorite chocolate treat Pods AND some lollies from my kid. Sigh. There really is a heaven and its streets are paved with sweets.

You know you're a ninja when...

... you're in stealth mode even during wash day



... you think it's safe to ride atop huge animals whilst they're resting.

For more awesome ninja-ness, visit Super N's twitter page.

Drat. Foiled Again!

ChristopherPaul Walsh

ON BEHALF OF MRS STEVE, VIA THE GOVERNMENT OFFICE:- "Please release my traitorous husband. I love him dearly and need him back. My life without him is nothing :-( "....." The government is doing all they can to help steve in his release......They...... Helping.......Lots..... Love..... Them"

ON BEHALF OF SUPREME OVERLORD CHRIS!:- "Mwaaa haaa ... haaa! You see my dear nemesis, my subjects are loyal and will serve me until the bitter end! Release steve to my custody, and i will give you as a peace offering the entire cheese eating country of France! What say you?"

Cj Espiritu

I scoff at your pathetic offer. France? Please! Those people invented the beret! And smelly cheese! You have to do better than that Monsieur.

ChristopherPaul Walsh

Well i dont mean to alarm you... But that panda who served you your last drink, also gave you a poison! Now i have the antidote here! Ready to be sent via atomic messenger squirrel to you! But only if you release the traitor steve to my troops! The ball is in your court! You have sadly only 6.54 minutes left to live! Crikey! better get planning that funeral!

Cj Espiritu

Why you.... Fine! Send over the squirrel. I'll have Steve patched up and delivered to your home base. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a panda execution to oversee.

ChristopherPaul Walsh

FROM THE DESK OF THE OVERLORD: DICTATED ONLY: "Mwaaaaa haaaaa haaaaa haaaaa"

A Hostage Situation A Day...

A plea from Steve the worm that defected to the puny earth creatures' side and is now, after an elaborate extraction by my Ninja Penguins, being interrogated by a team of very thorough, very merciless Interrogating Pigeons.

Steve's wife... looking grotty and harried, desperately asking that her husband be spared, to no avail.

It's all about world domination, baby.

I've had such a bad day today. I think it's because I'm still quite sick and haven't slept much the past few days. Also, I'm having some really major trust issues with someone very vital in my life. And to those who know me well, I was born having trust issues already so when I decide to trust people implicitly, they cannot and should not break that trust. No matter what. I know that's harsh and I'm working on it but it takes a while.

Anyway, so today pretty much sucked. Had a fight with a friend, my messengers were all acting up and there are absolutely no baked goodies anywhere in the house. Frustrating doesn't even begin to describe today.

Whenever I get in such a foul mood, I usually just turn to Facebook and its massive arsenal of mindless entertainment. I find that putzing around in Facebook really calms me down but today was extra special. Today, I got to plot world domination with a new friend... an ally if you will.

Here's a screencap of some of the back and forths:

There's more, really... It's really fun. Dunno when I had this much fun in ages.

Of Pizzas and Ninjas.

Just before we devoured our Yellow Cab New York Pizza, our pal Super Ninja decided he wanted to have a picture taken with the gargantuan delight of scrumptiousness. Then he tried to stop me and my friends from eating because he wanted the pizza all to himself.

Apparently when it comes to saving the world he's selfless... but put him in front of really great pizzas and it's every super ninja for himself. Can't say I blame him really.

And so it goes... on and on.

Well, my birthday started on a high that stretched on for a good portion of the day only to end on a slightly disappointing down. I'm not complaining. Not really.

Pictures to follow. If I can be arsed enough to upload them, label them and figure out HTML. We'll see.

I think I'll take that internet break now. See you guys next year!

Opening numbers.

It's 1:47 am. I've been 37 years old for 1 hour and 47 minutes and so far, I'm having a blast. I spent the first hour of my birthday being totally adored by my snuggleums. What could be better?

Looking forward to the rest of the day...

Uhm... I hope I didn't just jinx myself.

Suck on this.

It's a pack of Chupa Chups lollies. Minis. They're packed to look like they're cigarettes complete with the "Sucking does not kill" warning label. Cool. I have one. I'mma get more. So cute! Mini lollies!

F*ck love and the whole lot of it.

Originally, I was just going to post a picture that best sums up what I'm currently feeling right now and just let sleeping dogs lie... but I've come to the realization that I've got to stop being such a wuss and just get on with it.

I don't know if what happened last night can be classified as an epiphany but whatever it is, it hit me like a ton of bricks. All of a sudden I realized that the reason men find it so easy to walk all over me is because I let them. All they have to do to keep me in check is to tell me they love me. One mention of those three little but dangerous words and I'm putty in their hands.

Why do people do that, you suppose? Why take the most beautiful phrase in the spoken language and use it to play with people's feelings? How can they take something that's supposed to be meaningful and turn it into a tool for wreaking emotional havoc?

I had a friend tell me that I'm guilty of doing this myself. True. In a way. I'm pretty much an I love you dispenser. They're like Pez candies and I'm freely giving them away. The one thing that I can say for myself though is that I mean it. Every single time I say the words, I mean them. I can mean them in varying degrees but the overall meaning is the same. I'm not making much sense, am I?

Whenever my friends and I sign off from our messengers, we say I love you to each other all the time. Girl friends that is. And I can go to bed knowing that they really do love me. They know what hurts me and they do their damndest to not consciously do anything that will disappoint or upset me. I revel in that knowledge. Saying I love you is saying, "I'm here, you can trust me not to let you down." Saying I love you shouldn't mean, "Eh, I like you... keep those nekkid pictures coming." Sigh.

Maybe it's the cold medicine knocking me brainless or maybe it's just my cursed low self-esteem but damnit... I've just about had enough.

Kicking and Screaming.

I refuse to turn 37. No way in hell. They would have to strap my arms and legs to 4 horses and quarter me before I go peacefully into almost-middle age death. No. No. Hell no.

Deliriously drugged.

Maybe it's because I'm pretty much medicated up the wazoo that I've been having these intense creative bursts.... whatever the reason is, I'm just glad I can still piece together sentences that actually make sense. Unfortunately whenever I get these bursts of inspiration, I'm nowhere near a computer that's already booted up and opened to an MS Word document. Yeah, yeah, I'm lazy... I know.

So anyway, because of my inherent slothfulness to actually plod to a 'puter, boot it up and start a new word document, I always have a handy dandy paper journal an arm's length away. When an idea starts forming, I furiously start writing. After about half an hour of feverish writing, I breathe again and start reading back what I wrote.... Only... I can't understand about half of what I just scribbled down. Seriously. Some of the words are just squiggles for crying out loud.

I never win, do I? And I do tend to ramble on and on about annoyingly mundane stuff when the main reason I plodded over this 'puter is to write something down... it will make no sense yet but...

Fifteen.

15 days. I can't believe it's only been 15 days. How can my life change so dramatically in so short a time? How can something so horrible, so heartbreaking happen only 15 days after the most wonderful, most amazing day of my entire life? It's like I'm in a dream that has suddenly morphed into a nightmare. Just like that. In the blink of an eye.

15 days. There has got to be a rule about how long a person is allowed to be blissful before the world comes crashing down on them. It certainly shouldn't be just 15 days. That's just ridiculous. But here I am, slumped on the floor in the middle of this beautiful ballroom, my face a mess of tears and make up. The guests have all gone home. The music has been turned off. The lights have all been turned down except for one. I can hear my family on the other side of the room. I can feel their concern pumping through lovely oak doors that I asked be closed. I can't think about them now. I can't comfort them too. I'm still trying to relive the last 15 days.

15 days. Has it only been 15 days ago that my heart was so full of happiness it was close to bursting out in song? 15 days. If it wasn't happening to me, I wouldn't believe it could ever happen this fast, this painfully.

There should be more but I'm really still woozy. I've got to go lie down. The world's a bit tilted right now, so I have to go "un-tilt" it.