Deliriously drugged.

Maybe it's because I'm pretty much medicated up the wazoo that I've been having these intense creative bursts.... whatever the reason is, I'm just glad I can still piece together sentences that actually make sense. Unfortunately whenever I get these bursts of inspiration, I'm nowhere near a computer that's already booted up and opened to an MS Word document. Yeah, yeah, I'm lazy... I know.

So anyway, because of my inherent slothfulness to actually plod to a 'puter, boot it up and start a new word document, I always have a handy dandy paper journal an arm's length away. When an idea starts forming, I furiously start writing. After about half an hour of feverish writing, I breathe again and start reading back what I wrote.... Only... I can't understand about half of what I just scribbled down. Seriously. Some of the words are just squiggles for crying out loud.

I never win, do I? And I do tend to ramble on and on about annoyingly mundane stuff when the main reason I plodded over this 'puter is to write something down... it will make no sense yet but...

Fifteen.

15 days. I can't believe it's only been 15 days. How can my life change so dramatically in so short a time? How can something so horrible, so heartbreaking happen only 15 days after the most wonderful, most amazing day of my entire life? It's like I'm in a dream that has suddenly morphed into a nightmare. Just like that. In the blink of an eye.

15 days. There has got to be a rule about how long a person is allowed to be blissful before the world comes crashing down on them. It certainly shouldn't be just 15 days. That's just ridiculous. But here I am, slumped on the floor in the middle of this beautiful ballroom, my face a mess of tears and make up. The guests have all gone home. The music has been turned off. The lights have all been turned down except for one. I can hear my family on the other side of the room. I can feel their concern pumping through lovely oak doors that I asked be closed. I can't think about them now. I can't comfort them too. I'm still trying to relive the last 15 days.

15 days. Has it only been 15 days ago that my heart was so full of happiness it was close to bursting out in song? 15 days. If it wasn't happening to me, I wouldn't believe it could ever happen this fast, this painfully.

There should be more but I'm really still woozy. I've got to go lie down. The world's a bit tilted right now, so I have to go "un-tilt" it.