How can one really be sure that there is more to a current relationship than just lust? That it is more than just heady, mind-boggling, life-altering great sex? Not that that in itself is bad but sometimes, you just need more. Or less. Depends on how you look at it.
Currently, I am doing the horizontal tango with this really scrumptious boy. He's 24. Yes, still a boy. Compared to my matronly 33. Anyway, he's great in bed. Sweet and very considerate really. Not what you'd normally expect from young 24 year old man-boys. They're more of the wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am type. But this guy, let's call him Caldo. That's italian for hot. Ok, Caldo is just amazing.
His kisses leave me wanting for more. He knows exactly where to touch me and he knows, even before I do, how I'm going to react. He leaves me breathless, aching and always sated. A few orgasms later, I feel like he's managed to melt all my bones into a puddle of quivering buttery mass. And then and only then would he take care of his needs. Amazing.
And as if that's not enough, he doesn't roll over and snore right after. He drags me into a fierce cuddle and talks to me. We talk about his life, my life, stupid riddles, silly jokes. Anything really. Or we play with my cellphone and try and beat each other at Mobile Darts.
I would have to be really stupid to want more or less of that, right? Don't answer that. The thing is, I know him well enough to know that he doesn't take anything or anyone seriously. The number of broken hearts that he is responsible for is just staggering. He still receives emails , text messages and notes from women he's either dated or slept with, heartbroken but still hopeful.
Or they would start out as angry messages but would always end on a hopeful note. Everytime I talk to him about this, he just brushes me off. Or smothers me with kisses. And then my brain would shift to crazy lustful woman mode and the topic would be forgotten. Until the next time his cellphone goes off and I'd read yet another hopeful text message.
I feel bad for these women. At the same time, I'm scared shitless too. I know, down the line, he'll treat me the exact same way. The big difference though is that, unlike them, I don't hound him to come over and spend time with me. If he's here, then great. If he's not, then he's not. The sex is great but the risk is greater so I keep him at arm's length. Magic Johnson arms. He hates it. It pisses him off that I'm not at his beck and call. Fat chance of that happening. I've been down this road so many times, I'm in no hurry to go down it again.
Currently, I am doing the horizontal tango with this really scrumptious boy. He's 24. Yes, still a boy. Compared to my matronly 33. Anyway, he's great in bed. Sweet and very considerate really. Not what you'd normally expect from young 24 year old man-boys. They're more of the wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am type. But this guy, let's call him Caldo. That's italian for hot. Ok, Caldo is just amazing.
His kisses leave me wanting for more. He knows exactly where to touch me and he knows, even before I do, how I'm going to react. He leaves me breathless, aching and always sated. A few orgasms later, I feel like he's managed to melt all my bones into a puddle of quivering buttery mass. And then and only then would he take care of his needs. Amazing.
And as if that's not enough, he doesn't roll over and snore right after. He drags me into a fierce cuddle and talks to me. We talk about his life, my life, stupid riddles, silly jokes. Anything really. Or we play with my cellphone and try and beat each other at Mobile Darts.
I would have to be really stupid to want more or less of that, right? Don't answer that. The thing is, I know him well enough to know that he doesn't take anything or anyone seriously. The number of broken hearts that he is responsible for is just staggering. He still receives emails , text messages and notes from women he's either dated or slept with, heartbroken but still hopeful.
Or they would start out as angry messages but would always end on a hopeful note. Everytime I talk to him about this, he just brushes me off. Or smothers me with kisses. And then my brain would shift to crazy lustful woman mode and the topic would be forgotten. Until the next time his cellphone goes off and I'd read yet another hopeful text message.
I feel bad for these women. At the same time, I'm scared shitless too. I know, down the line, he'll treat me the exact same way. The big difference though is that, unlike them, I don't hound him to come over and spend time with me. If he's here, then great. If he's not, then he's not. The sex is great but the risk is greater so I keep him at arm's length. Magic Johnson arms. He hates it. It pisses him off that I'm not at his beck and call. Fat chance of that happening. I've been down this road so many times, I'm in no hurry to go down it again.
It boggles him I think when he sees that I don't treat him any differently than I do my other guy friends. He needs to feel wanted, special and pursued. Good luck getting that from me. He's not worth the heartache. And I am. So there.
I don't know why I wrote this. Maybe I just needed to sort my thoughts. Or maybe I needed to kill some time until he got out of the shower. Who knows? One thing I know for sure is... either way this plays out, I'm screwed. So... might as well.
