Hello moon....

I'm alive. Just extremely tired.

Exhaustion is the new bliss.

Maybe because I've spent the last couple of months mostly on my ass... or maybe because I've literally closed myself off from the outside the world... whatever the reason is... sigh.

This last week has been ex-fuckin-hausting. 8 hours of dealing with people. People I don't particularly like. Girly girls and stupid trainers who insist on saying "that's UN-grammatically correct!" WTF? And he's supposed to be training ME! Where do they get these people?

I'm tired. I wanna go back to my little black world and just stay there.

Richard.... save me.

Blink 180°

I went from being a bum to being a Tier 2 Toshiba TSR in 0.02 seconds. Boy, nowadays you just can't stay jobless anymore.

Oh well. Rat race, here I come, ready or not.

Guilt trips and waaahwaaah moments.

Guilt has been steadily gnawing at my innards for the last week or so. I've done something I know I should not have done. Now I'm back on square one. Emotionally.

Cryptic I know but right now I'd rather just keep this horrendous secret all to myself.

There isn't a second that goes by that I haven't literally banged my head on every handy hard surface. What the hell was I thinking?? I know I'm smarter than this. I know I've gotten a whole lot better at putting myself first and up until now, my self-respect was intact.

Now I'm just... devastated.

Watch out Debbie Downer, I'm gonna give you a run for your money.... sigh.

IMPORTANT! READ ME!

Dear readers,

I have the ultimate request... If y'all could try and help me acquire this toy, I would be eternally grateful. Plus, I will be your slave for life. No kidding. Or you can have any future offspring. Or you can do with me as you wish. Whatever. I am shameless.

I'll sign any contract. We can have a blood compact. ANYTHING! Just get me this toy.

I have to have this toy. Or I'll die.