38.

Well... 47 minutes into my 38th birthday.  So far, so good.  Let's keep it that way, shall we?

Well isn't that just fine and dandy?

"It has nothing to do with you."

I've got to get that tattooed on my forehead soon.

Seriously, who comes up with this shit?

Last night, I finally went out with friends to dinner and a movie.  With this particular group, oftentimes, the movie isn't as important as the time we spend together seeing as we each have families, work or in short, lives to live.

So we saw Eclipse.  It's bad enough that I have to sit through Kristen Stewart's awkward "acting", I had to suffer in relative silence as the dialogue got cheesier and more idiotic with each passing minute.  Thank goodness I was with friends who made the whole 2 hours and 5 minutes bearable and funny.

I'm not going to pretend I didn't read the Twilight series.  I did.  And the romantic fool in me couldn't help but sigh in reverent longing.  

BUT.

It's bad enough that the book has robbed all vampires and werewolves of their "street cred", did they really have to give the characters such craptastic dialogue?

"Besides, we both know I'm hotter than you..."  ::gag::

And man... that's one ugly wolf pack. Ugh.

The one good thing about the movie?  Dakota Fanning.

Take a bow.

::shake shake shake::

::wiggle jiggle bop bop::

::tap tap kick kick split::

::twirl whirl pirouette jazz hands::

Now, on to the day.

All I am saying... is give peace a chance.

If and when I find the imbecile who started the slow bastardizing of the culturally relevant peace sign into today's slutty skanks' standard hand sign in pictures, I will take said imbecile and shove his fingers so far up his ass, he won't be able to do the peace sign without doing permanent damage to his cerebral cortex.

It was cute for the first two minutes.  After that, unless done specifically to make fun of all the gargantuan fucktards who insist on flashing the peace sign for their own photographic purposes, it's just sad.

People, it's not cute, it's not hip and for fuck's sake, it makes you look retarded.  

While I'm on the subject of fucktardom, the duck face and the whatever the hell thing you do where you pucker up your lips instead of just smiling like a normal, intelligent person ALSO makes you look like someone shoved a ten foot pole up your ass and into your brain.

Stop it.  For humanity's sake.  STOP IT.

A squiggly, snuggly Squid and his 'stache.

Squidly's here.  Perfect timing too.  I get to take care of him AND introduce him to my newest baby, Arnold.  By the way, everyone's been calling him Arnie and he's not complaining so I guess I better get with the program too....

Squidly has the measles so he's a bit cranky.  Which is fine as it gives me an excuse to carry him all the time.  I just love how his little head fits perfectly on my shoulder... and how his tiny little arms sort of try and reach around my neck.  Mmmm snuggly Squid.

Things are still dicey between me and the boyfriend.  I'm crazy about him sure, but sometimes... sigh.  It would really help it if he remembers stuff I've told him before so he won't keep apologizing when things go wrong.... saying sorry only goes so far.  And sooner or later, it's not going to be believable anymore... you know?

Anyway, I finally got the Keeper's Candle so I'm hanging out at the Forbidden Grove for a bit... just to see if I can catch me some cool mice... then I'll probably go back to the Catacombs and farm for more gold.

Take your Rorschach and shove it.

Yes, my mother had me tested and no, sadly, I am not crazy. 

Truth be told, I wish I was.  Crazy is definitely more interesting and fraught with excitement than ordinary.  However, I'm not too fond of the crazies' haute couture.  I don't look good in white. Never have, never will.  

Digression:  I remember when I was in grade school and dutifully enrolled by my parents in a private, unwavering Catholic school... every first Friday of the month (or was it last? Egads, I've forgotten!) we were required to wear this godforsaken white gala uniform with long sleeves, and buttons designed to close off every imaginable breathing orifice.  Suffice it to say, I hated Fridays as much as I hated Mondays.

Unflattering outfit aside, I'd still like to be crazy than ordinary in any given day.  It's empowering when people don't know what to expect from you.  They look at you with curious interest and hopeful bewilderment.  Isn't that better than have them look at you as if they're saying, "Ho-hum.  Next!"

Admittedly, I think my friends already think I'm crazy.  Huh... maybe that's why I haven't been seeing so much of them lately.  Bah, who needs friends when you have two strong-willed plush toys who just can't get along?  Have you ever tried getting in the middle of two fighting plushies?  One of which is a ninja!  True, his shurikens are made out of felt but still.

I digressed again, didn't I?  Dagnabit!  I hate it when that happens.

Hmmmm... butterflies.

Hey Arnold!

Meet Arnold... my newest baby.  Don't ask me where the name came from... I'm just in charge of loving them... the boyfriend is in charge of naming them.  

Percy, my other baby, isn't too happy with this newest addition to the growing brood of Shawnimal plushies but sooner or later he'll get over himself and start loving Arnold too.

*bliss*

New Post. Click.

I feel like I won the lottery or something. I've found my voice again and I am THU-RILLED! What to say first? Who shall I skewer with my wit sans disclaimer? I want to say everything that has been bubbling just beneath the surface of my soul.

Ok, ok... I need to pace myself and do this a post at a time. I can't be tripping all over myself and just willy nilly say everything all at once.

First off, I just want to say... my typing skills have gone down the drain. Ugh. I keep having to hit backspace because I mistyped something. C'est la vie. I'll get it together soon enough I suppose.

Man, I need a PAUSE button for my brain.

So, in short order. Percy has a mini-blog within my blog... which right now is in its rough stages unfortunately. Hopefully the boyfriend can help me fix it because again, I am CSS-retarded. Thank Tallulah for point and click formatting! Speaking of the boyfriend... today is his birthday so I'mma be in my best behavior. Gotta give him lots of love, ya know?

One sec while I flip through my mental notebook... I'm looking for stuff I can talk about in short bursts of meaningful words. Bah. Why must I write the way I speak? Oh well. Did I say that yet? No? Good. Moving on.

Oh yeah... almost forgot... in a few weeks it's going to be my birthday too and the boyfriend, being the loving, most generous, amazing guy that he is, got me a slew of Shawnimals stuff. Oh hush auto-correct... Shawnimals is a legitimate word goshdarnit!

I hate auto-correct.

There ought to be some sort of drug I can take or program I can enroll in that would help me curb my annoying habit of digressing so much.

On to the Laboratory! Gotta catch me a few more Bionic Mice. Need those rb pots so bad.

*tap* *tap* Is this thing on?

To say I've been negligent is an understatement. My lack of posts have nothing to do with me being busy or preoccupied with more important stuff... the only reason I've not posted in AGES is pure and simple laziness.

I just couldn't be arsed.

That and I somehow lost my voice. Again. I feel like I have nothing more left to say. But that's not true. I have so much more I want to write about... so much more that I want to rant and rave about and I just need to find the drive and inspiration to get off of my ass and just do it.

Maybe this is it though. Maybe this post is the start of another round of ranting and raving and inspired lunacy. I hope so. I missed this. I really did.

Oh and new design! Thank you Blogger Gods for listening to my silent prayers. I'm psyched!

Look out world... here I come! (Again...)