Of Sex Tapes and Scandals

Boy, if that title doesn't jar you, I dunno what will.

Take it easy. I don't have a sex tape. Why would I subject the world to such cruel and unusual punishment? It's bad enough I see myself in the mirror everyday... why make the world suffer along with me?

Plus, it's not really A tape. [insert evil, demented laugh here]

Anyway, last week has been pretty uneventful. Nothing jarring or earth-shattering. No major upheavals. I must've hit an emotional plateau, where everything pretty much levelled off. Or maybe it's the almost-a-year-together-itch. I dunno.

So, for those in the know... the very few of you... Shane and I have sorta made up. Not that we ever broke up or anything. But our situation, what with him living in the US and me here in this godforsaken 3rd world country, it's just next to impossible to maintain a normal, healthy relationship.

Add to the fact that I'm smitten with someone else that's NOT Shane, then you've got one very fucked up emotional sideshow. One that I'm right smack in the middle of.

Shit, I'm too old for this. I should be married with 3 kids, living in a house with a white picket fence, fixing meals for my husband and carpooling the soccer team. But, instead, I'm a single mother with a fiance who lives a bajillion miles away and a boyfriend who is much too young for me. Ay dios mio!

Work. I should just concentrate on work. Work is less complicated. Work has no exes that hang around like rabid dogs waiting for the next piece of rotting meat you throw their way. Work has no lies, no deceptions, no bullshit. You go to work, you get paid. You hate your boss, you can mass email his picture where he's drunk and peed in his pants.

Wow. I guess life really hasn't levelled off like I thought it did.

Shall We?

I was planning on doing a year end thingy just to wrap things up nice and tight but daaaaaamn, that's a lot of work... so, I'mma gonna work on it some more and then post it when it's all done.

I'll be posting the entirety of the year end thingy at the other blog and maybe just post a summary here. Since this blog doesn't have a friends only feature and I have readers here that aren't necessarily friends. I don't want everyone and their brother to be privvy to certain matters.

Speaking of non-friends, the new site meter is wondrous. It gives me a weekly report on how many visits I get a day AND it also gives me the ip address of the person visiting. How cool is that? And seeing as Richard is THE techie of all techies, maybe I can finally solve the Mystery of The Unfriendly Visitor. Well actually, it's already solved. Richard, notwithstanding. I just like rambling on and on about stuff that most people would find boring.

There's this lady, two stations away from me and she's talking to someone over the net. She's all giggly and mushy and flirty, it's so cute. It gives me hope... this long distance love affairs that seem to be working... maybe one day... maybe...

Pipe dreams. Oh well.

I've quit work. Mostly because I'm starting over at another company. Everything's still hush hush so... hush.

My cousin Erica told me that she writes the way she speaks. I guess I do too. Rambling and seemingly without coherence. But for the few people who REALLY listen to me, inside every rant is a valuable, albeit small nugget of vulnerability that is just too darn scared to come out of hiding. Whoosh. I amuse myself way too easily.

So, yeah. I need to go. I've got places to burn and people to turn. Blargh.

Off With Their Heads!

Yesterday, I hung out with my cousin Tina. All we did was gab to our hearts' content and ate to our tummies'. Pigging out is an understatement. It was fun with a capital F. Well... it would've been more fun if my other cousins were there but they all have jobs and lives and crap and.... I miss them.

Anyway, it was refreshing to just loll around the house looking grotty and not care about what other people might think... or upchuck.

Gah, just between you and me and a coupla other readers... I miss not being so effing girly. The long hair, the plucked brows, the prim and proper crap... ARGH! I'd give my soul if I could just go back to being me. I hate growing up. I miss playing ball with my cousins. I miss wrestling with my brother. I miss playing tag football with my guy friends. Ok, it was mostly tag. On some occassions though, we did have a ball with us but it was mostly to hit people on the head with. It was more fun that way.

I digress. I always do. Geez. See this is the reason why I know Dane and I are FATED to be together. We both LOVE to digress. Ahaha! Shit, I crack myself up all the time.

Anyway, yeah... so.... fuck... my train of thought just got thoroughly and properly derailed. Damnit.

Plus I gotta go. Meeting up with a couple of friends from highschool today. I'm gonna bring a ball with me. Just in case the need to hit someone upside the head ever comes up. Hehe.