Saturday morning mayhem.

Went out with the boy again last night, after work. We seem to be going out a lot these past few days. Not that I'm complaining. I'm thoroughly smitten, after all. We have so much fun when we're together. Despite the embarrassing show of mush and the inevitable holding of hands, we always enjoy being together.

Creeping crumpets. I've turned into such a girlfriend. Who'd have thunk it? I let him hold my hand, I let him open doors for me. ME! The oh-so-fiercely independent one. Just goes to show, old dogs CAN learn new tricks. Arf.

Seriously though, I feel like I'm slowly becoming somebody I'm not. And I'm still unsure whether or not I like that it's happening. I like being rough around the edges. I like being snarly and surly and forever morose. Now, it's like somebody gave me a lobotomy without my knowledge and turned me into this... this... cheerful person. Good lord.

Before this dramatic change, I woulda just walked over to the conniving, pathologically lying bitch and slapped some sense into her. Now... shit... now, I just gnash my teeth, smile and let everything pass. Not as satisfying as the first scenario.

Lemme just say this now though... Get it out of the way... So I can stop dwelling on her and just focus on what's important.

You don't worry me. You were one of many. I'm the only.

I don't begrudge your relationship with him. I'm sure you treated him well and vice versa. But that's in the past. It should stay there. Don't try to rekindle anything by showing him naked pictures of yourself. That's just waaaay too desperate. And the ONLY sure thing you'll get out of it is a roll in the hay. But hey, if you're content with that, then by all means, keep it up. I personally think you're worth more than that. Honestly.

Ok. I got that out of my system.

Back to being foolishly in love. Oh lordy.

Oh It's On, Bitch.

Hoboy. I am hanging on by a thread. One more and I'm about ready to snap. The nerve of some people! When people assume they know me, or things about me, it makes me want to prove them wrong. If only to make them look like complete jackasses. Which they are. Really.

I was gonna write about the great time that I had with the boy yesterday. Believe you me it was one helluva great time. We saw Open Season at the IMAX Theater. Fun Fun. Stupid looking big-ass glasses but fun fun, nonetheless. See that smile? See? Fun, huh?

Then we ate at Tokyo Tokyo. Talked about the ex. Again. Was damn proud of myself that I didn't raise a hissy fit. Look, I get it that she was a part of his life, once. I get that. I'm still friends with a lot of my exes. But I don't offer to show them my naked pictures, damnit.

So, yeah. Anyway. We ate at Tokyo Tokyo. The boy, despite knowing that I HATE having my picture taken, took one of me.

I get really stupid when I'm angry and can't lash out.

Ready... Aim...

What makes a woman go after someone else's man? I really wanna know. Is poaching considered not unethical anymore?

I mean, don't these women have any sense of what's fair game and what's not? Maddening, is what it is. Ok, I believe in the saying, "All is fair in love and war." I'm willing to bet though that the shmuck who came up with that saying is one conniving, manipulative sonofabitch who has no morals.

I've never poached. I've always respected other people's relationships. I've been poached on, lots of times. And every time hurt like hell. Now I know that if my guy can be easily swayed by another pair of mammary glands with the IQ of a tse-tse fly then he's not worth two shits. But it still hurts.

It hurts because once again I've relied on common decency to prevail and once again my stupidity has cost me yet another heartbreak.

Now, I don't claim to be the epitome of decency and morality. FAR FROM IT. But, I know what's fair and I try to be as fair as possible. I don't poach, I don't stalk, I don't advertise my goddess-like sexual prowess (well, maybe just this once... bwahahaha), and I don't ever, EVER go through the obvious trouble of conjuring lovechildren out of thin air in hopes of fulfilling my convoluted fantasy of happily ever after.

You might think, "bitchy, much?"

Well damnit yes I am bitchy. I am pissed as all hell. Pissed beyond reason that once again, my relationship is threatened by some two-faced bimbo-slash-daughter of Satan on Prozac. It pisses me off because once again, regardless of past experiences, I am left to rely on other people's sense of decency.

I'd say, "bring it on sistah," but why bother? I've never arm-wrestled over men before, why should I start now? Either I'm enough for him or I'm not. Besides, I still believe in karma. I mean, karma's one helluva bitch. I know. It has kicked me in the ass one too many times. And believe you me, karma can sure wreak havoc. I respect karma now, I think we've reached an understanding.

I hate having the monthlies. It just brings out the worst in me.

Malling. LeoChy-style.

So... Mall of Asia...

Been there, done that. Got lost a few times but heck, I conquered the damn thing and that's what matters.

I was actually there on a date. My first I think, with my boyfriend. First official date. First official anniversary or like the teenagers say, monthsary. God, it hurt just typing that. Anyway, so yeah, first official monthsary. Don't ask, we're weird that way.

We wanted to watch The Departed but found out we were a week late so we saw World Trade Center instead... Jesus Christ with a bottle of mineral water... Who comes up with this shit? Seriously. After the movie, we went and got lost. I wanted to eat someplace new. But we ended up eating at Chowking. Glorious. Not. But we had fun.

We also hung out and just stared at the err... horizon. Great view. If you don't look down. I did. So I had to back away... a couple of feet away. Had to drag the boy back with me. Scary drop. Christ in stilts.

We had a blast. I had a GREAT time. I haven't laughed that much in ages. Felt good. Of course, I had to ditch work but it's ok. It was for a good cause.

I think I scared the crap out of him though when I started talking about babies. Well... a baby girl more specifically. So sue me, I want one. I even told him that as long as the she gets her nose and her lips from me, the yet unnamed, unconceived, child can get everything else from him. He was a good sport about it though. The boy has balls, who'd have thunk it?

I have to go. It's getting late. I gotta go buy meds and the boy has work tomorrow. He needs sleep.

So toodles and all that crap.

Compli-fuckin-cated beyond words.

I haven't really been posting a lot these past few weeks. It's just that I've somehow "lost my voice." Everything I start writing eventually end up getting scrapped. Plus, my laziness has hit its all time high. Or low. Blech.

And my grammar just went to hell. Again. Damn thing likes the spankings too much.

Anyway, life has been REALLY complicated. Work is once again, blah. Life at home is... weird. My so-called love life is just waaaay too err... complifuckincated. No two shits about it.

I mean, I'm really head over ass in love with HIM but.. Gah! I don't even know why the fuck I think it's complicated in the first place. I mean, he's really really sweet when we're together.... and he makes me laugh and smile. I mean, I don't smile! Ever. But when we're together, I smile all the freakin' time! What the hell is up with that? Weirdness.

What the hell did I get myself into?

He has women hanging around him like... like.... damn they just hang around him all the time! (I told you I lost my voice. I think my IQ went with it too.)

His exes are STILL popping up like... like.... crabgrass! Ok.. bad analogy. I MISS MY IQ! Sumbitch.

I complain too much. I better start writing again. Before I completely forget how to.