It's official. I'm single again. I think I'll stay that way for good this time. It's just easier not to trust people than to risk putting myself in that very vulnerable position again. I'm done putting my emotional and mental well-being into somebody else's hands. It's time I took the control back and keep it, for good.
I won't say I'll never fall in love again. Knowing me, I probably will, many times over. However, I don't think I'll ever risk getting into a relationship again. I don't care how lonely it'll get at times. Or how much it'll ache not to have somebody to love you right back. But I deserve never to get hurt again, and the only person that can guarantee that is me.
I still find myself having teensy crushes on people and every once in a while, the butterflies visit. And that's going to have to be good enough for me. From now on, I'm going to trust only myself. I'm only going to believe me. Because if the past three years have taught me anything, it's that people lie. When they tell you they love you, they lie. When they tell you you deserve so much more, they're lying. When they tell you they're never, ever going to deliberately hurt you - that right there is the biggest lie of all.
So from this day forward, the only person allowed to make me feel bad is me. I'm responsible for my own happiness, and nobody can ever convince me otherwise.
Here we go.
You're right on a major point there...we are each responsible for our own happiness. No man, woman, child or thing can fill that for us. We have that daily choice as to what we do or do not allow to affect us. Unfortunately, we do sometimes allow things to penetrate that are hurtful. But never give up on true love, girl, because true LOVE saves <3 Nope, not talking about any man there. Just true love in His grand existence.
ReplyDeleteThinking about you, praying for you, and wishing I lived closer so I could give you a good gallumping hug <3