I can't stop yammering. I feel like if I stop talking, the world as I know it would go kaboom. Also, I'd get really bad breath. Ew. Those are valid enough reasons not to stop yammering, right? 'Course, I am typing so... dunno why that would affect the smell of my breath.
Sigh.
I just have way too many things going on inside my head. And I can't really talk to any one person about it. There are layers upon layers of all manners of intimate stuff that I can't just spill out. Horrible.
It doesn't help that my boyfriend has gone AWOL. Methinks he got tired of me. Gah, who wouldn't? I'm tired of me... Christ on stilts. I'm tired of hearing myself whine and bitch about how life isn't fair. I'm irritating myself and holy crap, there is absolutely no escape from me. None! All exits are welded shut. Barricaded with titanium steel.
Anyway, I have a lot of decisions to make. And I'm not particularly looking forward to the task. Mostly because I know my decisions will hurt me. They will inconvenience a lot of people but ultimately, they will hurt me.
I need to completely overhaul my life. Starting with... well... ok... hrm.. I just hit a snag. Stupid layers.
DAMN YOU LIFE!!! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?!
Firstly, despite what you said, I don't think Christ ever wore stilts!
ReplyDeleteDon't get down if your boyfriend disappeared. Be a bit patient. I know you're growly and rough around the edges again, but if you love him that much just wait a bit.
What decisions do you want to make?
It's really hard to change yourself. Have you ever bent a paperclip into new and more intesting shapes? Right, now try that with a street lamp. It's about that hard.
I sorta feel you can talk to me about anything, but perhaps not.
Or perhaps that's why you left me a message on yahoo earlier. I don't know!
Love you cj *hugs*
You can show the comments or leave them moderated - they were for you, not anyone else.
R