This week has been fraught with propositions, from friends and strangers alike. It's like I was wearing a shirt that says, "Immoral, Come One, Come All" or "All Roads Lead to Yaga" or "Open for Business, Monkey That Is." Geez louise.
Scenario 1:
I get online after days of being disconnected from the world wide web and what do I have waiting in my friendster inbox? A proposition from a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend. Toys for nekkid pics. Seriously. Who wants nekkid pictures of ME?? Except for Rich, my one and only studmuffin. Who would want to start or end their day worshiping the almighty porcelain god? People these days....
Scenario 2:
Small get-together at a friend's house. Potential boy was the host. I was busy trying to decide whether I should get sloshed or not when a girlfriend ran up to me and literally shoved a napkin to my face. On the napkin was this note, "nice rack. can i?" Oh lawd. So after I started breathing again, I asked my friend to point out the person who gave me the note. I saw him, we locked eyes and then I gave him the finger. Stupid git.
Scenario 3:
Lounging in bed. Minding my own. Phone beeped. Unknown number. The message said, "hi, got ur # fr ****, wnt 2 go out nd play?" WTF?!?! Texted *****, read him the riot act and told him to stop giving away my number to perverted schmucks.
I have NO idea why this is happening. I'm like... a schmuck magnet. By the way, potential boy got in napkin-git's face and told him to take a hike. My hero. Pfft. My life is fraught with assholes. Except you, Rich.
You, you can have nekkid pics anytime, all the time.
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